Jerry Springer: Too Hot for TV Part 2
By TS
Jerry Springer: Alright. Our next guess is the center of a luuuuuv triangle.
Let's welcome Leona to the show!
Leona, from the King of Fighters games (KOF), walks out onto the stage and
sits down in her seat.
Crowd: Whoooo!
Leona: *looks around the room, unminding of the fans and the show*
Jerry Springer: ...Leona?
Leona: What?
Jerry Springer: Why don't you tell us about your situation?
Leona: Why? Doesn't everyone know already?
Jerry Springer: Yeah, but there are still some things that the audience
needs to know.
Leona: ...such as?
Jerry Springer: Well...I guess I don't know either!
Leona: Well then what the h*ll are you doing hosting the show?
Jerry Springer: Alright, screw this. Everyone welcome Leona's boyfriend,
Iori!
Iori Yagami from the King of Fighters games walks out onto the stage,
looking all moody and emotionless at the same time.
Iori: *sighs*
Crowd: *1/3 of the crowd boos. 1/3 cheers, and the other third wonders if
Iori is a man or a woman...[he's a man]*
Female Crowd Member: Ahh!! It's Iori Yagami! Ahh! I love you more than
anyone!!! You're sooo cool!! And sexy! Ahhh! I love you!
Iori: Yes, you do.
Female Crowd Member: That was so cool! Ahh!
Iori: Yes...it was.
Female Crowd Member: Ahh!
Jerry Springer: Anyway, Leona has a secret she wants to tell you, and...
Leona: There's someone else. God, I can't stand that Springer guy...
Crowd: *gasps*
Jerry Springer: Hey...
Female Crowd Member: *gasps* That b*tch!!
Iori: So...you cheated on me?
Leona: Naw. We haven't done anything, yet. Just wanted you to know you had
some competition. I have forced you guys to confront each other for my own
personal amusement, and, in the end, if you're lucky, I might choose one of
you.
Iori: ...and why would you be doing that?
Leona: Because I can. And I was bored. Just had an extra man lying around,
so I figured...
Iori: *runs his fingers through his hair, sighs overdramatically, and
chuckles.*
Female Crowd Member: Ahh! That was h*lla h*lla cute! Ahh!
Leona: Hey you. *points at the noisy Female Crowd Member* You want an *ss
kickin'?
Crowd: Oooh!!
Female Crowd Member: What?!! I'll take you out hoe!
Crowd: Oooooh!!
Leona: ...what?
Jerry Springer: Now ladies...
Leona&Female Crowd Member: Shut up Jerry!
Jerry Springer: Yes ma'ams.
Female Crowd Member: How dare you play with my Iori like that?!
Iori: *runs his fingers through his hair, sighs overdramatically, laughs,
and flexes his chest muscles*
Female Crowd Member: Ahh! That was so...moody, and cool! Ahh!
Leona: Hey! You want me to come up there?
Female Crowd Member: Bring it on b*tch!!
Crowd: Oooh!!
Leona: You want some of this?
Female Crowd Member: Yeah!
Leona: Do ya?
Female Crowd Member: Yeah!
Leona: Yeah?
Female Crowd Member: Yeah!!
Leona: Yeah?
Female Crowd Member: Yeah!!!
Crowd: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!!!
Jerry Springer: *leaps behind a fat woman in the fifth row and cowers in
fear*
Cyber-Steve stops looking through his new issue of F-RAM (Fat Robot *sses Monthly),
and decides to attend to the situation on stage...
Leona: Alright, that's it! I'm comin' up there to kick your fat *ss from
here to Albuquerque!
Female Crowd Member: Fat? *tries to look down over her shoulder and see her
own butt* My *ss isn't fat! My booty is just the right size, isn't it Hanny?
*turns to her boyfriend, who is sitting in the seat next to her*
Han (the boyfriend): *without looking up from his newspaper* Yes Dear.
Female Crowd Member: Do you think she's prettier than I am?
Han: No dear.
Female Crowd Member: Aw...you're so sweet...
Han: Uh-huh. *turns to the sports section*
Leona: Hey? What's with all of this "does this outfit make my butt look
big," girly-talk? I've got people to toy with. You want that *ss-kicking
or not?
Female Crowd Member: Come and get it!
Han: Now honey, I think you should just sit and calm down for a minute...
Female Crowd Member: Shut up!
Han: Yes dear!
Leona: All right, bring your candy-ss down here!
Crowd: Ooooh!!!
Female Crowd Member: All right, prepare to get torn a new one! Then you'll
get *#$%*\@$ed twice as much you little &(%&#@^%)=%^%^*-*/*-+_!!!!!!
Crowd: Whooooh!!!! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Cyber-Steve: Initiating...battle mode. Preparing BFG 200 to fire...
As Cyber-Steve charges up one of his many lethal weapons, Jerry Springer
finds a moment of courage, and decides to step in.
Jerry Springer: Hey, I have an idea! Let's bring out the person Leona has
been cheating on Iori with! That might calm things down, eh? Everyone please
welcome (name witheld for purposes of Drama)