Into The Woods Street Fighter Style Act 1 (Part 2)
By Eli-kun

(Backstage.Sakura and Blanka are practicing their number. Dan notices them dancing together

Dan: Jimmy likes Sakura

Sakura: Shut up. We're practicing

Dan: ooh practicing. Jimmy and Sakura Jimmy and Sakura Jimmy and Sakura..ow

Blanka does an electric attack on Dan

Dan: ELI-CHAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!

Eli-kun: what?

Dan: Jimmy electricuted me

Eli-kun: So?

Dan: It hurt.

Eli-kun: Blanka, don't do the electric attack on Dan.

Dan: that's telling him.

Eli-kun: And you stop annoying him.

Dan: Whatever do you mean?

Eli-kun: You know. Anyway you have a few lines in this scene. Do you remember those few lines?

Dan: Have you no trust in me? Of course I remember my lines. And Ken's line too.

Eli-kun: Good understudy. Okay. Cammy and Juli are finishing their number. Ken and Gen are on next. Blanka and SAkura are on after that.)

(Cammy finishes her scene with Juli. This is what allows Cinderella to go to the ball. Ken enters walking with the bull that's supposed to be a cow. )

Ken: Quiet. Silence Everywhere. Not to my liking...

(Gen appears)

Gen: Hello Jack

Ken:(acts frightened) How do you know my name?

Gen: When first I appear I seem mysterious. But when explained I am nothing serious.(Hey, that rhymed)

Ken: Okay? Huh?

Gen: So you're selling that cow? Stalling?

Ken: um...

Gen: How much are you asking for that cow?

Ken; No more, i mean no less than five pounds.

Gen: What a ripoff. You'd be lucky to exchange her for a sack of beans.

(He vanishes. Ken acts afraid then exits. Sakura enters skipping along the stage. Blanka appears and intercepts her.)

Blanka: Good Day young lady

Sakura: Good day Mr. Wolf.

(Sakura ties to run off but she skids to a stop when Blanka goes in front of her)

Blanka: whither away so hurriedly?

Sakura:To grandmother's.

Blanka: And what might be in your basket?

(sniffs basket. then sniffs Sakura)

Sakura: Stuff to help granny.

Blanka: And where would you're grandmother live?

(She tells him. Blanka starts his song. Don't feel like typing the entire song. Blanka holds Sakura for a tango. She acts afraid. She leans in with him but doesn't move her legs. He continues his song as she tries to break away. She does some singing too, trying not to stray from her path. Blanka gets Sakura to look around. He hands Sakura a flower. What kind of flowers are those supposed to be. Couldn't Bison find less cheesy looking ones? They look like they come from childish crayon drawings.Blanka continues"Hello Little Girl")

Blanka:...

THINK OF THAT SCRUMPTIOUS CARNALITY

TWICE IN ONE DAY--

THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAY

TO DESCRIBE HOW YOU FEEL

WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO YOU'RE MEAL.

Sakura: MOTHER SAID

NOT TO STRAY

STILL I SUPPOSE

A SMALL DELAY.

GRANNY MIGHT LIKE

A FRESH BOUQUET...

Goodbye Mr. Wolf

(She picks some flowers, then exits)

Blanka: Goodbye little girl.

(Starts Off)

AND HELLO--(Holds the note for a really long time. Then he howls and bangs his chest like in his victory pose. Then he exits)

(Ryu enters. He was supposed to enter earlier but couldn't find him. Chun Li pushed him on stage.)

Ryu:(in the most deadpan voice possible) Is harm to come to that little girl...in the red cape!

(At least he remebered this line)

Rose:Forget the girl and get that cape!

(Ryu doesn't react.)

Ryu: Line?

(Gah. He's not supposed to say that in front of an audience)

Rose: You frightened me

Ryu: I did?

Rose: No that's you're line. I frightened you.

Ryu: You did?

Rose: Yes. Now get the cape! Get it. Get it. Get it.

Ryu: Huh?

Rose: Look I know you have reservations about taking the cape from the little girl but I can't do it myself because...

(R. Mika is um..singing in the distance.Rose listens entranced)

Rose: Ahh my Rapunzel..listen to her beautiful music.

Ryu: My sister?

Rose: You're not supposed to know that. Now Get me what I need.

(she exits)

Ryu: what was i supposed to find again?

Chun Li:A COW AS WHITE AS MILK

A CAPE AS RED A BLOOD

A HAIR AS YELLOW AS CORN

A SLIPPER AS PURE AS GOLD

(Ryu and Chun Li have their scene. Singing is involved. Ken sells that bull that's supposed to be a cow for five beans. Special beans. Ken is upset about losing the bull that's supposed to be a cow. More singing involved. Chun Li answers to Ryus' guilt about buying the cow after Ken leaves.)

Chun Li: ONLY THREE MORE TRIES

AND WE'LL HAVE OUR PRIZE

WHEN THE END'S IN SIGHT YOU'LL REALIZE

IF THE END IS RIGHT

IT JUSTIFIES

THE BEANS.

(They exit)

Sodom: The baker cotinues to search for the cape. then some other stuff happens. At the end..

(Rose enters)

Rose: Will you shut up and let us get on with the story?

Sodom: Okay

(R. Mika appears. Rapunzel's tower is apparently her wrestling ring. Why?

Guile: Zangief built it. They both insisted on it.

Fine. R. Mika and Rose do their song. the word hair is in the lyrics a lot)

Rose: Rapunzel Rapunzel. Let down your hair to me.

(R. Mika seems distracted at first. Rapunzel bans on the wrestling ring tower. R. Mika lets her hair down. Rose pulls on it making R. Mika say"ouchies". Dee Jay comes from around a tree)

Dee Jay: Rapunzel. Rapunzel. What a strange name. Strange but beautiful; and fit for a prince. Tomorrow that gerl shall let down her hair down to me. (Err..,close enough)

(Ryu steps into Sakura's path. She's eating sweets)

Ryu: um..hi? (err..close enough)

Sakura: Hello

Ryu: Save any of those sweets for Granny? (closer. maybe he'll finally be able to say a line correctly. One could only hope)

Sakura: I ate all the sweets and half the loaf of bread.

(Ryu seems tempted to eat the other half of the loaf)

Ryu: Gimme the cape. (*sigh* maybe not)

Sakura: It would look kinda foolish on you.

(Ryu takes it and runs off. Sakura seems as if she's about to throw a temper tantrum. Ryu places the cape back on Sakura. She stomps on his foot and sticks her tongue out at him.)

(Ryu forgets that he's supposed to sing a song and exits. Sakura is at Granny's)

Sodom: Of course the wolf is there.

Sakura: Oh dear. How uneasy I feel. Perhaps it was all the sweets.

(she goes closer to Granny's bed)

You look weird. What big ears you have.

Blanka: The better to hear you with, my dear.

Sakura: What big eyes you have

Blanka: The better to see you with,my dear

Sakura: What green skin you have

Blanka: It's from being sick,my dear

Sakura: What shocking orange hair you have.

Blanka: It's a new look I've been trying out, my dear

Sakura: What a big terrible wet mouth you have

Blanka: The better to EAT YOU WITH MY DEAR!

(Sakura disappears. Don't worry. he doesn't actually eat her.)

(Ryu enters and kills the wolf. Blanka lets out a howl and dramatically goes unconscious. Sakura and Juni step out of the wolf)

Juni: Kill him. Let him die a painful agonizing hideous death. (Lets out the most deadpan maniacal laugh possible)

Ryu: I'll leave you to your task. (Almost. getting better)

Juni: Don't you want the skins?

(Ryu shakes his head)

Juni: What kind of hunter are you?

Ryu: I'm a baker! (Yay. he finally said a line correctly!!!Yay)

(SAkura does her song)

Sakura: ...

...

NOW I KNOW NOT TO BE SCARED

GRANNY IS RIGHT JUST BE PREPARED

ISN"T IT NICE TO KNOW A LOT!

...AND A LITTLE BIT NOT...

(Ryu appears)

Sakura: Here, you save our lives, you should have this. (She gives him the cape. Ryu kisses her on the cheek. She goes off stage with a goofy grin on her face. She's supposed to act disgusted.)

Sodom: Baker has confidence since he has two items.Jack gets in trouble. His mother throws the beans away. They obviously grow into a beanstalk.

(Cammy enters in a perty gown and meets Chun Li. Cammy is trying to escape the prince. Cammy hides when Charlie and Dan enter.Charlie questions Chun Li)

Charlie: Have you seen a beautiful young woman in a ball gown pass through?

Chun Li: I don't think so, sir.

Dan: I think I see her over there(points in a direction that is so obviously wrong. They both exit in that direction)

Chun Li: I've never lied to royalty before.

(Cammy come out. They talk about the prince. There is some singing from Cammy. Chun Li tries to take Cammys' golden slippers. Cammy runs off. The cow that's supposed to be a bull escapes. There are chimes of midnight. Just about everyone enters for this number.)

Ryu: ONE MIDNIGHT GONE

Gen: NO KNOT UNTIES ITSELF

Rose: SOMETIMES THE THINGS YOU WISH FOR MOST ARE NOT TO BE TOUCHED...

Charlie and Dee Jay: THE HARDER TO GET THE BETTER TO HAVE

Charlie: AGREED

Dee Jay:AGREED

Vega: NEVER WEAR MAUVE AT A BALL...

Fei Long: OR PINK...

Karin: OR OPEN YOUR MOUTH...

Ken: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COW AND A BEAN IS A BEAN BEGINS AN ADVENTURE...

Akuma: HN.(he won't say his line.GRR)

(Rapunzel sings offstage)

SAKURA: THE PRETTIER THE FLOWER THE FARTHER FROM THE PATH (goes bye bye)

Juni: LINE?

Dan: A SERVANT IS NOT JUST A DOG TO A PRINCE...

Cammy: OPPORTUNITY IS NOT A LENGTHY VISITOR...

(They all sing overlapping morals. Stuff repeats until all sing...)

INTO THE WOODS

INTO THE WOODS

INTO THE WOODS, THEN OUT OF THE WOODS

AND HOME BEFORE--

(All go bye bye)