Berry

(Sakura: Ooooh, A Dir En Grey fic! Yay! Berry? I loved that song!)

I don't own Dir En Grey.
(Karin: No ,of course not. I own them
Sakura: No you don't. Eli-kun doesn't own us either.
Karin: I can own them if I wanted to.
Sakura: Can you score me some tickets for their next concert?
Karin: Away, peasant!
Sakura: Please, please,please, please,please....?
Karin: Sure. We'll go to a concert together.
Sakura: Yay! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I LOVE YOU! um...I mean*blush*)

These are actual people. This fic is using the characters they portray while performing. This fic still manages to be OOC, since I don't know any of these guys personally. Please don't sue me. It isn't worth it. The most that can be taken from me is meal plan points. I got the ideas for this fic when watching the video of the Macabre tour. Standard disclaimers apply.

(Sakura: I WANT THAT VIDEO! But it's too expensive.
Karin: I got it. You can come over and watch it later!
Sakura: Yay!*glomps Karin*
Karin: Your enthusiasm frightens me.)

Dir En Grey was about to perform. They were about to go on stage.

"How do I look?" Kyo asked.

"Cute." Toshiya responded before giggling. The shorter vocalist glared at the taller bassist.

"I am NOT CUTE! I'm supposed to be scary!" Kyo growled.

"Kawaii!" Toshiya responded.

(Sakura: Kawaii!!! Karin: Kyo is adorable, ne? Especially since he doesn't like being called cute.
Sakura: Warumono rocks! *that what some fans call Kyo*)

Kyo rushed at him with an odd sort of ferocity. Toshiya might have been hurt but Kaoru held the petite singer back.

"Let me kill him!" Kyo snarled.

"That's so adorable. He's trying to maul me!" Toshiya squealed.

"Will you two stop this? We're on soon." Kaoru said reproachfully. Toshiya pouted and said "Sure, Kao-chan." Kyo stopped trying to attack. He stuck his tongue out at Toshiya, who in turn batted his eyelashes. Kaoru rolled his eyes.

(Karin: *blinks* I'm confused
Sakura: me too)

They all went on stage. The audience screamed. A few fans were dressed like the band members. One of them had what looked like a Toshiya plushy doll. The Dir En Grey members were extremely observant people.

(Sakura: I want a Totchi plushie!)

"Our fans are scary" Kyo whispered to Kaoru. The fans went wild when they saw the two bishounen whispering to each other. Die suddenly came towards them and whispered, "I see white people."

(Karin: That was stupid.
Sakura: Yup. mmmmmmKaoru, Die, Kyo threesome mmmm.
Karin: Um, Sakura-chan! SNAP OUT OF IT!)

Kaoru made the signal for them to get to their places. They started to play "Mask". They played a bunch of other songs that the fanfic writer was too lazy to name.

(Sakura: That's cuz the author doesn't know the names of the other songs.)

During one song Die licked Kyo. "Tastes like chicken" he said. Luckily, no one notice his phrasing.

(Karin: WTF? !!That was just plain dumb.
Sakura: I wonder what Kyo really tastes like!
Karin: Sometimes, I wonder about you.)

Kyo also did the usual spewing stuff and screaming. This time it was blood. It looked as if his metabolic processes would be of interest only to historians. He seemed unconscious. Kaoru went to his body and checked for a pulse. There was none.

(Sakura: NOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't kill Kyo!*sobs* The author is so mean!
Karin: *pats her shoulder* It's okay Sakura-chan. This is only a fic.I have to keep telling myself that.)

"He's dead." Kaoru said. The crowd didn't seem to notice or care. They simply thought that it was a great show. Toshiya started to cry. "He makes such a cute corpse," the bassist said through sobs.

Kyo suddenly rushed at him despite the handicap of no longer being alive. Toshiya hugged him and continued to cry.

"Kaoru said you were dead," he sobbed.

"I am." Kyo responded.

"But you're talking."

"So?"

"You weren't lying during that interview where you said you were a zombie from outer space?"

"I lied about being from outer space." Toshiya squeezed him even harder. He coughed.

(Karin+Sakura: WTF?
Karin: I don't think Kyo said that in any of the interviews. The author's just making it up.
Sakura: Of course, this is a fic.
Karin: He's dead. How can he cough?
Sakura: Plot hole?
Karin: That would require a plot.)

"You're suffocating me." Kyo said.

"But you're not breathing anyway." Toshiya answered.

"Oh yeah, but you get the point."

"Yes" he said while pouting, "You don't love me." Kyo rolled his eyes at the sniffling bassist. Luckily, they were off stage at the time, so fans weren't trying to grope them. The other band members were frantically trying to get makeup off their faces. The fanfic writer was creating a fic without paying attention to plot, grammar, order or anything required to write a decent story. The words were all random. Potato. Spam. Capacitor. Wave...

(Sakura: Capacitor?
Karin: I think the author is an engineering major.
Sakura: How do you know?
Karin: I have my ways of finding out.
Sakura: But doesn't that major require intelligence?)

"Will you get on with this stupid fic?" Die asked. The fanfic writer didn't answer since Die would never actually speak to this supposed person. He started to tease Shinya.

"Shin-chan, why are you so secretive? Have you killed people or something? What's with this weeder obsession?" Die asked. Shinya tried to ignore him but the constant poking prevented that. The guitarist continued to pester the drummer. This persisted until said drummer started to cry. This shocked everyone.

(Sakura: Bad author! Making Shinya cry.)

"I didn't know he could do that." Kyo commented. He was finally free from Toshiya's grasp. Kaoru yelled at Die and made him take a time out.

(Karin: A time out? That's really juvenile.)

"Shin-chan, don't cry." He pleaded. This didn't help.

"Shin-chan, I'm sorry." Die said.

"You wuss." Kyo said.

"I'll give you candy if you stop crying." Kaoru said. This was quite effective. Shinya immediately accepted the candy. He actually smiled.

"I'm scared! Hold me!" Kyo said to Die who was still being punished.

(Karin+Sakura: WTF?
Karin: This fic is causing us to say that a lot.)

"How come I never get candy?" Toshiya whined. The fanfic write wasn't really sure whether any of the band members actually liked candy.

"You always cry." Kaoru answered.

"So? I like candy."

"But it isn't a good bribe for you."

"It can be. I want candy." Toshiya seemed to be on the verge of bawling. Shinya went towards him.

"You can have some of mine, Totchi," he said as he offered the candy. The bassist happily snatched it from the drummer, then hugged said drummer. Shinya gave a slight smile.

(Sakura+Karin: Awwwwwwww)

"Two smiles in one day? Who are you and what have you done to my Shin-chan?" Die asked.

"Your Shin-chan?" Shinya asked.

"Yes. Mine!" Die was about to start the evil teasing again but Kaoru stopped him.

"You're still on your time out." Kaoru said.

Die responded in a high-pitched tone "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll be good. I'm going to ..."

"Don't threaten me." Kaoru said before there was an actual threat. Those who have heard the song "Berry" would've known what the threat was. The fanfic writer inwardly cursed due to ruining the joke. Die blew a raspberry at the fanfic writer.

(Karin: Eli-kun is really good at ruining jokes.
Sakura: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll be good. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna blow your head off like raspberry jam. *giggles*
Karin: You didn't have to recite that.
Sakura: Eli-kun messed up the quote.)

This was also ignored since there was no possible way for the fanfic writer to actually meet Die.

(Karin: Thank goodness for that.)

"I'm going to sleep." Kyo announced.

"So?" Die asked in return, "Isn't that what you always do?"

"Hey, the undead need beauty rest too."

"Actually, I think we all need some rest" Kaoru said, "We're still on tour."
They all went back to a hotel. Kyo was the first to start sleeping.

"Kawaii!" Toshiya shrieked, "Kyo-chan is sleeping with a teddy bear." For some reason he was the only one to see this. Kyo opened one eye and groaned.

(Sakura: Kawaii!)

"Tell anyone about this and you'll be in the same state I am in." Kyo said wearily.

"Is that a death threat?"

"Yes."

"So? You don't seem to mind."

"Go away and let me sleep."

"So, what's the teddy bear's name?"

"Taxidermy."

"Creative."

(Karin: Quite unimaginative,naming a stuffed animal "Taxidermy".)

"Go away and bother someone else."

"But you're fun to play with."

"We'll play later. Go away." Toshiya pouted before leaving. He went towards Die. Shinya was using him as a teddy bear. They woke up when the bassist was nearby.

(Sakura: yaoi hints? Karin: perhaps.)

"What are you doing here?" Die asked annoyed.

"I'm bored and Kyo won't let me play with him." Toshiya whined.

"What makes you think I will?"

"You're mean!"

"Yes, he is" Shinya agreed, "but he's also cuddly." He squeezed Die, who didn't seem to mind. Toshiya decided that he needed something or someone to cuddle.

(Sakura: Are you cuddly, Karin-chan?
Karin: Don't even think about it.)

He went towards Kaoru's bed. This was a low budget fic, so they all shared one room.

(Karin: Low budget? I am unfamilair with that term.
Sakura: I'm not.)

"Kao-chan?" Toshiya asked. Kaoru mumbled something incoherently. The bassist decided to simply crawl into bed with the guitarist and put his arms around him. He smiled before finally going to sleep. Toshiya found Kaoru to be suitably cuddly.

The next morning they were headed for their next destination. The mode of transportation was a cheese bus.

(Karin+Sakura: WTF?
Sakura:again)

"Are we there yet?" Toshiya asked repeatedly.

"No." Kaoru kept answering.

"When will we get there?"

"Soon"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No! Stop asking."

(Sakura: That was REALLY pointless.
Karin: This entire fic was pointless)

"Will you two shut up? I'm trying to sleep." Kyo yelled. Toshiya stuck his tongue out at the small vocalist.

"You're always trying to sleep." He said.

"Yes."

"Shall I sing you a lullaby?" Die suddenly asked.

"Don't bother." Kyo answered.

"This bus ride is long. Let's sing a song." Die suggested.

"Hey, that rhymed." The normally quiet Shinya said.

"Only in English."

"Okay." They all started to sing.

"99 bags of blood on the wall. 99 bags of blood, I fill one up and drink it up. 98 bags of blood on the wall...

(Karin+Sakura: WTF?
Sakura: This is getting creepy.
Karin: I know.
Sakura: Hold me!)

Eventually they became bored with this song so they started to sing other bus ride songs.

"I know the song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know the song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know the song that gets on everybody's nerves ..." Eventually that got on their nerves.

"Are we there yet?" Toshiya asked again.

"Yes." Kaoru answered.

"Yay!"

They all exited the extremely cheap, cramped, duct tape dependant cheese bus and got ready for yet another performance. They saw more fans dressed in costumes not quite as outrageous as what the band members were wearing.

"Do you think I would look cute in a schoolgirl uniform?" Toshiya asked sweetly.

(Sakura: He would look cute in a school uniform.)

"You would look adorable." Kyo said dryly. Toshiya ignored the tone of his voice and glomped the cute, little, demonic, maniacal...

"I am NOT CUTE!" Kyo yelled as he glared at the fanfic writer. Said writer grinned and ignored him and continued to write the pointless, senseless fic.

(Sakura: NOOOOOOO! Stop writing this!)

They performed. Fans screamed, bla bla. Crazy crap happened on stage. Decent descriptions weren't the fanfic writer's forte. After the performance, Shinya threw his drumsticks towards the fans. A fan was knocked unconscious. The sound "Klonk" was heard. "Oopsy" Shinya said. Kaoru and Die threw their picks. A few fans were struck. Toshiya started to cry.

"I hate this fic!" he wailed. The others nodded.

(*Karin and Sakura nod*)

"Is it done yet?" Toshiya asked.

(Karin: I hope so.)

"No."

(Sakura: grrrrr.)

"Is it done yet?"

"No."

"Is the fic over yet?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"Yes."

(Karin + Sakura: *sighs of relief* Finally!)