Street Fighter After Hours
By Dan

-The scene is a small bar where all the street fighters gather. Inside is Dan, Ryu, Ken, and Karin (for now. Others will come in)-

Dan is yuking it up with Ken. "Man, have you ever seen something so sad? I mean, that beautiful gal Mai is just waitin' for somebody like me, but yet that knucklehead Andy can't find the grapefruits to even muster up an "I love you"?"

"Seriously", Ken nodded sipping champagne. He turned his sight to Ryu.

"Andy almost reminds me of my good buddy "The-fight-is-all" over here", Ken said with a thumb pointing to Ryu. Dan laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. When he stopped laughing, he finally fell.

"OUCHIE!", Dan cried, rubbing his bottom. Instead of getting up, Dan tucked his feet in and sat on the floor in a meditation-type fashion. Suddenly a convict burst through the door followed by a urban ninja of sorts. Dan quickly got to his feet.

"Hey! Cody, Guy, good to see you! OSHAA!", Dan said with a handshake. Cody eyed him suspiciously, and Guy simply walked by. Cody ordered two pina bacardis, and sat down on a bar stool. "Guess who I just fought?", Cody said with a chuckle. Ryu, hearing the variation of the word "fight", suddenly answered.

"Akuma?"

"Yeah right! I fought Iori Yagami, man! I won, too!" Cody said. Dan went to give a high-five, but slipped on a wet spot on the floor. *CRASH*

Guy simply shook his head. Cody helped up Dan. Ken spoke up.

"So, what happened?"

"Well, I see this real pretty chick named Shernie, right?"

"Right..."

"So, I make it my intention to get her phone number! Suddenly this purple-haired..."

Dan nearly choked on his Cheetos. "Purple? As in darker than my gi?"

"That's right, Dan!", Karin chirped waliking by and smacking the back of Dan's head. Ken eyed her warily.

"You're not supposed to be in here, you're only 17."

Karin scoffed. "Puh-leeze. I'm only a billionaire. I'll go anywhere I please, you peasant." Ken got mad, but before he could get really steamed, she skipped over to the arcade at the far corner of the bar.

"Finish the story, Cody.", Ken says before sipping his champagne again. Cody nods.

"Sooo... this purple-haired Oro... Oru... Momocho..."

"...Orochi", Guy said nonchalantly. Cody thanks him, then continues.

"...Purple-haired Orochi says to me, you can't hit on her, bro." Dan with wide eyes, says:

"So what did you do Cody?"

"Well, I ask him is it any business of yours? He gets all crazy-looking, and then he tries to blast me with purple flames!" Cody exclaimed while Ken chuckled.

"Purple? that's worse than YOU, Dan.", Ken said. Dan looked deeply hurt, so Ken apologized. Even Ryu wanted to hear about this fight (you know him, always looking for a challenge).

"Continue, Cody.", Ryu urged. Cody obligued.

"So, he hits me with one of those faggy-flames, and singes my nifty prison garb! And that's when I got mad..."

"What'cha do then, Cody?", Dan said with overly too much enthusiasm.

"I "Final Destruction"-ed him into next week! Ha-HA!", Cody exclaimed getting high-fives all around. "And you know something else?", Cody said, "The oddball was wearing a choker!"

Ken finally choked on his Merlot. "A man...with a choker on?"

"That's right", Guy said nonchalantly.

"Why would he need... a choker?", Ryu asked quizzically. Ken shook his head.

"Probably 'cause he's a pole vaulter, if you catch my meaning..."

Dan yelled out, "Ha-ha! He's a pipe cleaner! A bend-over buddy! A bloomin' nancy boy!" Dan finally doubled over laughing, but he proptly crashed into a pool table, bonking his head in the process. Ryu looked at the laughing of all four guys.

"Do you mean this Orochi guy is homosexual?", Ryu asked. Everybody got silent. Ken groaned.

"Y'know Ryu old buddy, it's much more fun to make fun." Ryu nodded, not fully understanding what his American friend was trying to say. Dan, after making double-sure he wasn;t bleeding from where his head hit the pool table, said:

"So he wears a choker? What for?"

"Probably to keep his head on straight!", Cody said with a laugh. Once again all four laughed except for Ryu. Suddenly, the bar door swung open. A exceptionally pretty Chinese woman walked through wearing a blue bodysuit with a black double-stripe with gold trim and a matching top. She hmphed at Cody and Dan, who were whooping her arrival. After she sat down away from the guys, Dan promptly sat in the same chairs opposite her.

"Nice to see you Chun-Li.", Dan said suave-like. She pushed him aside.

"C'mon, Chun-Li? One date?", Dan said with bambi eyes.

"I'd rather eat glass."

OOOOOHHHH....

Dan's pride was hurt a bit, but he wouldn't back off that easily...

"Why do you hafta' dis me in front of the guys, Chunnie?", Dan said in traditional mock-pout fashion. Chun-Li was getting mad. All she wanted to do was get a quick bite and something to drink. But every time she came here, there was Dan, always Dan...

"Why do you have to.. "dis", me, by asking me on a date?", Chun-Li said coolly.

OOOOOOOO...

Dan WASN'T gonna' quit now. So he went for the gusto.

"Aw, c'mon, Chunster. You know you want the Saikyo man. I'm sure of it. Ask any girl. Almost three out of ten choose Saikyo-that's me over the likes of Ryu-ulp!"

Everyone in the bar turned to see that Chun-Li had picked up Dan by the throat.

"Now listen here Dan... I will NOT, ever, go on a date with the likes of you. Why? You're embarrising. You can't fight, your Gadouken is smaller than Sakura's Hadouken (we're talking MvsSF Dan here), and you wear a color that girls today don't even wear anymore, much less men."

(with all due respect to Volpe =^)-Editor).

Dan began to gulp. Chun-Li knew this would get him. So she added insult to injury.

"Dan... you suck. You suck so bad you make Richard Simmons look like Brad Pitt. In fact, you should become gay, that is, if any man would take you."

That did it. With a loud "OYAAAAAAJIII!", Dan ran sobbing and weeping frantically from Chun-Li's clutches and ran out the door. Ken glared at her while Karin gave her a thumbs up and a "You go girl!" for good measure.

"Was that really necessary?", Ken said shooting a look at Chun-Li, who began to order diet Dr. Pepper.

"Yup."

*****

Meanwhile.....

*****

Dan seemingly was running for no reason now, he turned back to see where he was. "Ummm..."

Obviously he didn't know where he was. He turned back in the direction of where he came and promptly crashed into a guy and a girl. The girl had a pink jacket with a diamind cut in the chest to obviously flaunt cleavage (which she had plenty of), and the guy looked very familiar...

"*Oh-oh*", Dan thought. The guy dusted himself off and lifted Dan up.

"You know where that chump Cody is?", he asked. Dan decided to get tough.

"Who wants ta' know?", Dan said in his best mafia imitation. The purple-hair man wasn't impressed. After he smacked Dan around like a prostitute, Dan sung like a bird.

"That's all I needed to know. Oyasuminasai.", the man said dropping the pink one down onto the pavemment. The girl kicked him for good measure, and Dan watched as the two made off to the Street Fighter Bar.

"*Ohhh man, I gotta' find a way to get there and warn Cody!*", Dan realized. But how?