OZ - Starring Cody Ch. 1
By Dan

"So, Guy, how's it hangin' bro? You know how things run here, eh? Oh yeah, I forgot. You've never been in prison before. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be. Food sucks, the C.O.'s (correctional officers) suck, and most of all, Eddy E sucks. Can you believe that he chased me down and actually got a job here to keep the eagle eye on me? I swear, bro, the dude's obsessed. Also, I cut my hair, and changed it back to brown. Some weirdo named Claude was trying to see if I was a "natural blonde". After I kicked his *ss, they put me in solitary (again). I'm beginning to think I'm Cool Hand Luke, or somebody.

Don't need to worry, though. I've stayed strong, though. Been lifting weights, playin' baseball, all that $#!t. I ain't goin' too crazy up in the joint 'cause I've been here before... D*mn. How long has it been, five, six months? A year? Time goes so f-ing slow around here, I can't tell if the sun's rising or setting. I'm only 25 but I feel 50. Anyways, see if Haggar is still tryin' to reduce my sentence. Hm. Baywatch is comin' on...I better get a front seat. Until the day Guy.

PS: Tell Jessica I miss her like crazy.

PPS: Guess who's in here with me? None other than Hugo and Birdie.

Not Truly Yours,

Cody. (O-KAY!)"

Cody finished writing his letter with a small smile at the corners of his lips. He knew that as soon as Guy got the letter, he'd send back something to help his best bro out, maybe some cash. Cody ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "*Not much to do but sit the h*ll around the ol' idiot tube*", he thought to himself, scraping his chair up to the t.v. where three other inmates were watching intently. One inmate Cody knew only as Robb, a complete a-hole who shot a cop, nearly parylyzing the officer. The other inmate was a black guy from Brookyn who was busted dealing weed and cocaine to high schoolers. His name was Jase. The other inmate was this sniveling chump who beat his wife. He went by the name Torry. "So, fellaz' whose ready for some Baywatch?", Robb said, turning up the sound. "Yeah! Whoo! I love the repeats! Man, that Carmen Electra is good enough to eat, seriously." Cody piped up. "Are you sure you'd wanna eat something that had Dennis Rodman inside it? Man, prison's gettin' to you cuz." All the inmates, including some that overheard, oohed and catcalled. "Ohh, he flamed you, Robb.", Jase said, slapping Cody a high five. "Shut up, jack*ss. You think you're a tough motherf-er, eh little man?" Robb said, getting up from his seat. Cody sighed. After all, this happened to him at least twice a day. "Yeah. I'm a tough guy. I'm not a cold-blooded killer, a convicted drug pusher, or some *ss that beat his wife like you three. But I AM a tough guy."

"Oh, so now you dissin' us too?", Torry said, tugging up his prison jacket sleeves up. "You're a real card, buddy. You up for probabtion, right? Too bad you'll never see the day you get out.." Robb lunged forward, taking a swing at Cody. Cody countered by grabbing his arm, and flinging him over his shoulder into the steel bars of the jail cell. Robb hit his face to to the cold bars with a crunch. The other inmates in the other cells started getting rowdy. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Cody looked at the other two inmates while they helped up their fallen comrade Robb. "Yo, Robb. You okay, bro?" Robb's mouth was bleeding and his nose was bloodied. it was obvious Cody broke Robb's nose when he flung him into the bars. Robb coughed, then spat blood onto his two friends' shoes. "Oh d*mn! I just washed these joints, yo!", Jase said angrily. "I don't care!", Robb said coughing. "F--- that little b!+ch up! Kick his *ss!" Jase and Torry let Robb go, and began advancing on Cody. Cody called out "Guard!", trying to avert their attention. It didn't work. Jase went into his pocket and pulled out a silver shiny object. A small pocket knife. "Yeah, son. I'm gonna make your face into fish bait, bee-yotch.", Jase said, twirling the knife. He then gave out a big yell and rushed Cody. Cody dodged as the knife barely missed his shoulder as Jase tried to plunge it in his clavicle. Cody regained his composure looking straight at Jase. But he forgot about...

"Gotcha, you chump!", Torry said, pinning Cody's arms behind his back. Despite struggling, Cody couldn't free himself from Torry's grasp. "*D*mn. This guy is only 5'7, and barely 150 pounds. How come I can't shake him?*" Cody then was turned in the direction of Jase, who was slowly approaching him with the raised knife... "You shouldn't have f-ed with us, b.", Jase said grimly. "Now you're gonna' get what's comin' to ya', white boy." Cody had an idea. "*Oh man....I hope this works. I'm a dead man if it doesn't...*"

"Yaah!" Jase said, bringing the knife down. In what could only be described as a split-second, Cody head-butted Torry, relinquishing Torry's grip of his arms. Cody flung Torry in front of Jase's plunging knife! A scream ripped through the halls of the prison as loud as the inmates yelling and hooting. Torry clutched his shoulder as he tried desperately to pull the blade out of his shoulder. "Oh God! Jase, help me! Jase?" Jase was looking down at the bloodied form of Torry, who was now whimpering miserably. "Arrgh, that's it surfer boy! You're goin' down!", Jase said. Jase once more lunged at Cody, and Cody promptly smashed his right fist into Jase's jaw. Cody heard the familiar crack of a bone being broken. Jase hit the ground, holding his smashed jaw. "My mouff...you vroke it!", he stammered, blood seeping from his tooth, which was knocked out as well. Cody dusted off his hands as he slowly heard footsteps approaching. A yell soon followed. Cody didn't even need to to turn around. he simply elbowed empty air, soon feeling the gut of a man. The man was Robb. His eyes went wide as he struggled for breath. Cody knocked the wind straight out of him! Robb sunk to a kneeling position on the floor. Cody advanced on him, now... "Listen, scumbag. What just happened now, is that I just kicked you, and your lackeys, *sses all through this cell. Now if you even THINK about getting some type of stupid revenge crack on me, I'll open another can of whoop-*ss on you d--kheads. Got it?" "Uhhh...yeah.", Robb said shakily.

"I thought so." Cody knew the guards would be coming to once again put him in solitary confinement for now, at least a week. Maybe two. "*Nothing I can't handle. I didn't go crazy seeing Linda Tripp for the first time, I won't go crazy in there, either.*" Cody saw Jase crawl to the toilet to spit out a mouthful of red blood as he took a seat to resume watching Baywatch. "*Man*", Cody said, watching as Carmen Electra bounced practically toward him on the tv screen, "*Screw NBC. THIS is must see t.v.*" Just as he thought that, the guards came running into his cell. "What the h*ll?"

"Cody, you beat all these guys?"

"Yup."

"Well, looks like it's time for you to hit solitary again then, eh?"

"Guess so.", Cody said, spitting absently. The guards chained his arms once more as he was led out of his cell by one guard. The other guard stayed in the cell to call for an E.M.U. (Emergency Medical Unit) to tend to the injuries of the three other inmates. As Cody was being hauled off to solitary, he heard other inmates praising his fighting skills. "Good job there, Cody! Way to bash some skulls!", a guy by the name of Snake said. "Don't none of y'all punks brush up on the C-Man! He'll f--- all ya'll turkeys up!", a brusier by the name Brusier said. All the rowdier inmates started chanting Cody's name.

"Cody! CODY! CODY!" Cody shrugged, then let out a small grin. "*Hm. Maybe prison life won't be that bad at all...*"

If only he knew.